So if you paid your phone bill this week and have more than 7 friends on Facebook then you have most likely heard of the Nubian Queen Rachel Dolezal. But for those of you who got a beef with Cricket right now, let me fill you in right quick. Rachel is a #TransRace woman coming straight outta Spokane, Washington. Allegedly she was born as white as Smores and Heely's. At some point in her life she decided enough was enough and one morning she hopped up out the bed, turned her black on, and the rest was history.
So whats the big deal Keef? Well Ms. Dolezal just so happens to be the head/President of the Spokane NAACP chapter.There is a lot of speculation with this story. People are reading blog sites reports of this story like its the truth written in stone or something. In my research, I never found anything where she flat out said I am as black as Burnie Mack. But people will read 2 or 3 memes and think they got the whole story on smash.
Her parents are claiming that she is white because they are both white, and her father's name is on the birth certificate. However, I recall a situation in Detroit i believe where a woman put a random mans name on a form as her child's father so she could receive government assistance. She later admitted that he wasn't the father yet he was still charged for back child support. Check it out. I mention that to say that a name on paper doesn't mean much. Next was the allegations that she lied and said her younger adopted black brothers were her own. That has black people all in a frenzy too. Well there is partial truth to that. Her brother attempted to emancipate himself from her parents and went to move with Rachel. She became his guardian, legal or not i don't know. I don't get paid for that.
At the end of the day, I don't see the big deal. Some people say she profited off being black due to her job and that she got a full scholarship to Howard University. I would think that being white would've gotten her more scholarship opportunities at a primarily black school, but I went to Everett, we have all kinds of diversity in there. And how much money can be made from being a NAACP head?
The real issue at hand is the fact that she is fine as third century wine. that's what really got these people in a frenzy. 37 years old and stuntin on half these younger birds. I'll include pictures, don't you worry. Now while I am on Ms. Rachel's side, the comedian in me can't deny the hilarity of the #AskRachel frenzy going on.
I don't know if this one is legit but I like it regardless.
#AskRachel
#Pray4Rachel
"Almost every man wants to grow up and marry a woman as classy and beautiful as his mother, and have a side chick as raunchy and nasty as the woman his dad cheated on her with." -Keef
Sunday, May 31, 2015
First things first I want to shout out the two people that read this.
Ok so today i was perusing other peoples blogs looking up my favorite subject: Side Chicks. And believe it or not society is actually sympathetic to the plight of side chicks. Yes i said sympathetic and plight in regards to side chicks. I know some people have preconceived notions about side chicks but at the end of the day most of them are like pit bulls. They are just fun loving creatures looking for love from a decent owner and sometimes family, but have been stigmatized by society. There has been a label placed on them as home wreckers, Jezebels, skanks, harlots and etc. But the truth of the matter is that the main chick is the true home wrecker 90% of the time (Note: 90% of all statistics are made up). I'm not just going to drop a bomb like that and walk away. I'll break it down for you.
I have a few partners (as in home boys not to be confused with domestic partners) who have side chicks. Some have been married for decades, some are newly weds, and some are just dating. Their ages, races, upbringing, political orientation all differ, but one thing connects them all. That longing or desire for something the woman they thought they loved just wont or cant give them. For the main chicks out there let me say this first, you're man loves you. that's why he is still there. That's why you get Ruth Chris' and she gets Outback at the most! There are some men who just have an insatiable appetite. Appetite for sex, or some genre of stimulation. I have a friend who is cheating on his wife in every sense of the word, but has never touched the woman he is cheating with, Rather he makes love to her mind, the sneak around and meet up to discuss politics and current events. The rush he gets from that mental stimulation is unmatched he says. He thinks he could get in her draws but the ecstasy he gets from the conversation is so much joy that he doesn't dream of crossing that line. I remember one day we were talking and I asked him what made him realize that she was the one. The answer was so simple, he told me they were having casual conversation over a friendly lunch and he accidentally said the word, 'cognizant' and she understood it and actually gave him slight praise for using it. Let me tell you. I was astonished! Something so simple opened his mind, eyes and heart to a woman he may or may not have ever seen in that light before.
After that i really began inquiring from my other friends. The answers were astonishing. They ranged from, 'because she cooks better' to 'she's in the same field of work as me'. These responses left me with the understanding that sometimes there is almost nothing a woman can do to keep her man completely satisfied. But there are other times where women just don't want to do what it takes to keep their man pleased. Now i know what some of y'all are saying. "If he gonna cheat then he should leave! Don't put his unfaithfulness on me!" and blah blah blah. And in a perfect world. A world of black and white that would be true. but in reality there is of grey matter, and a lot of it. I suddenly got tired. I'll finish this when i feel like it!
Man.... This shit been going on since long before Keef was around! It happens so much that it almost makes me laugh now, although nothing is funny about it. The camera phone has done very little to uplift the black community, but its destroying the mindset of the naive White Americans. Walter Scott is just another tally. No, he's more than that. He is a human being. Or was, he is no longer. Because another scary man with a badge. See, I wont call him racist. If he was racist, he would've been a man about it and planted whatever he wanted on him and done his bidding head up. But no, when these things happen, I can't help but to picture a little chubby kid in elementary or high school getting "bullied". Then he grew up and got a badge and a gun instead of the therapy he so desperately and obviously needed. I watched the video, and i am a man who can see both sides of ANY (I guess now, ALMOST) argument. But to fire at a slow moving man running away from you 8 times.... You can't justify that. You just can't. I don't think I've ever said this, but I hope they fry his ass! Let him go out the same way. I apologize this aint all eloquent and spit but sometimes you just gotta be raw.
"A man is only as good as his side chick! So get one to prove your worth!" - Keef circa 2008
Monday, January 19, 2015
Ok. I'm going to come back hard. No days off. Starting tomorrow. Here's something to keep you occupied til then.
SO check this out. Today was my off day so I decided to go check out a flick at the cinema. That new Denzel/Fuqua joint just dropped so I copped a ticket at the matinee price. So for all you ADHD and hard of reading MOFO's i will some the movie up like this: Just imagine Joyhn W. Creasy, yes that's spelled correctly (Denzel's character from Man On Fire), sober, with that same rage and determination. Just a little more calculating and put together due to the lack of alcohol in his system.
Now for people who have a desk job that don't mind reading 16 bars or more imma give you the real spill. First thing you need to know is that the movie is over two hours long. It starts by following a very tidy and meticulous man around on his daily life. He SSS (Shit, Showers, Shaves) then heads to work at "Home Mart", which looks like your typical Home Depot, except a little cleaner so maybe it was Lowes. We come to learn the mans name is Robert McCall, who sometimes goes by Bob. He is a very nice, caring gentleman who genuinely likes to help people out. He doesn't get rattled at all it seems as displayed by his continuous resolve when dealing with some of his younger, slightly disrespectful co workers. The movie starts kind of slow, not a boring slow, but a "when we gonna get to the good stuff slow". He has a schedule he keeps, appears to be an insomniac and likes to have his tea and read his back at a 24 hour diner near his apartment. At this diner he befriends a young prostitute, not in a sexual manner though, he just sees and speaks to her as a normal human being, something most prostitutes aren't afforded the luxury of. So blah blah blah the ho has goals and dreams and stuff but she don't think she can achieve them because shes a lowly slut bucket sucking on pickles til she gets a dill (deal). Ha! Did you get it? Whatever I thought it was funny. Anyway she revealed to McCall her birth name, which is always a sign that a hooker or stripper or female author has let you in to their world. McCall then empowers the young harlot to do what she wants, they go out for a long walk on the streets of Boston and at the end of that walk, ol Slavi (Pimpin' Playa Patna) pulls up and tells her to get in the car.
You can guess what happens next. My mans has got to keep his pimp hand strong. He beats the breaks off that young Russian girl. McCall doesn't see the skeezer at the diner for a few days then the chef/waiter/host/cashier tells him that shes in the hospital. So y'all know what happens next, if you don't just think about it. Based on everything you've seen on TV and society for that matter in the past 50 years, what would a older Black gentleman do when a young White lady is in distress? He runs to the cleaners and pulls out his Captain Save-A-Ho cape. From there the movie picks up dramatically. McCall swings by the pimps office which is on the second floor of a posh Russian eatery (I say eatery because I have a hard time spelling that restuaraunt or resteront or restarant or whatever word), he offers the pimp nearly 10 racks for the girls freedom, of course that's a no go. A young Russian like that can bring in 10 stacks in a weekend if she work hard enough (shout out to all the hard workin hos)! When the pimp refuses the offer Denzel proceeds to kill him and his four or five henchman in the room. And the way he did it was nothing less than spectacular. I mean he was erasing eyeballs, killing white Russians with cork screws, shooting and stabbing them with their own weapons. It was crazy.
Well come to find out, them weren't just some pimps. They had heavy connections to some billionaire crime lord in Moscow. So that chump sends some even bigger chump to Boston to deal with McCall. My man McCall went through all of them punching, kicking, slicing, dicing he even gave another dude a buck fifty across his face. Of course he takes out a few dirty cops and what not then there is the showdown at Home Mart where McCall uses just about every piece of equipment to kill them suckas. I'm talking from barbed wire to cordless drills. Pruning sheers with the long handles to mini propane tanks in the microwave. Then the finally he sent the chump to the after life with some kind of crazy nail gun. I mean the range on that thing was ridiculous! Then when he was done with killing all of them they show him doing his cold as ice probably patented "Denzel Walk" away. I'm convinced one of his legs must be shorter than the other one. After all that is done he heads to Moscow to kill the big boss and his litany of foot soldiers.Naturally he succeeds. Once you've taken out the biggest crime lord of Russia what else is there to do?
Well, my man McCall decides to go right back to his modest apartment in his urban neighborhood where none other than that ho turned housewife shows up talmbout she readin books and all. She says someone left her 10 thousand big ones at the hospital, she suspects that it was Sliva offering her hush money to start a new life. The two have this very unnecessary and awkward conversation where McCall basically tells her to go search her dream. I don't know about you people but 10 G'z wouldn't last too long in my life the way my bills are set up. Any who she does that. Then credits run for a second and it cuts back to McCall on the lap top doing something and supposedly if I would've stayed to watch that I would've seen that there is possibly a sequel coming. But that is highly unlikely because Denzel ain't NEVER did a sequel, and if he were to do one I'd love to see a prequel to Training Day.
Here's the trailer for your consideration:
Overall I give the movie about 7-7.5 out of 10. It was a good action movie, but nothing very lasting about it. I mean I'd take a broad to see this before taking her to the Hoochie Burger.
And I ain't proof reading JACK! I don't get paid to do this and no one reads it anyway!
"Your woman will stand by because of the things you've done, a side chick stands by you because of things you're doing. So if you don't have any side chicks it's probably because you ain't doing shhhhh" -Keef
