Now for people who have a desk job that don't mind reading 16 bars or more imma give you the real spill. First thing you need to know is that the movie is over two hours long. It starts by following a very tidy and meticulous man around on his daily life. He SSS (Shit, Showers, Shaves) then heads to work at "Home Mart", which looks like your typical Home Depot, except a little cleaner so maybe it was Lowes. We come to learn the mans name is Robert McCall, who sometimes goes by Bob. He is a very nice, caring gentleman who genuinely likes to help people out. He doesn't get rattled at all it seems as displayed by his continuous resolve when dealing with some of his younger, slightly disrespectful co workers. The movie starts kind of slow, not a boring slow, but a "when we gonna get to the good stuff slow". He has a schedule he keeps, appears to be an insomniac and likes to have his tea and read his back at a 24 hour diner near his apartment. At this diner he befriends a young prostitute, not in a sexual manner though, he just sees and speaks to her as a normal human being, something most prostitutes aren't afforded the luxury of. So blah blah blah the ho has goals and dreams and stuff but she don't think she can achieve them because shes a lowly slut bucket sucking on pickles til she gets a dill (deal). Ha! Did you get it? Whatever I thought it was funny. Anyway she revealed to McCall her birth name, which is always a sign that a hooker or stripper or female author has let you in to their world. McCall then empowers the young harlot to do what she wants, they go out for a long walk on the streets of Boston and at the end of that walk, ol Slavi (Pimpin' Playa Patna) pulls up and tells her to get in the car.
You can guess what happens next. My mans has got to keep his pimp hand strong. He beats the breaks off that young Russian girl. McCall doesn't see the skeezer at the diner for a few days then the chef/waiter/host/cashier tells him that shes in the hospital. So y'all know what happens next, if you don't just think about it. Based on everything you've seen on TV and society for that matter in the past 50 years, what would a older Black gentleman do when a young White lady is in distress? He runs to the cleaners and pulls out his Captain Save-A-Ho cape. From there the movie picks up dramatically. McCall swings by the pimps office which is on the second floor of a posh Russian eatery (I say eatery because I have a hard time spelling that restuaraunt or resteront or restarant or whatever word), he offers the pimp nearly 10 racks for the girls freedom, of course that's a no go. A young Russian like that can bring in 10 stacks in a weekend if she work hard enough (shout out to all the hard workin hos)! When the pimp refuses the offer Denzel proceeds to kill him and his four or five henchman in the room. And the way he did it was nothing less than spectacular. I mean he was erasing eyeballs, killing white Russians with cork screws, shooting and stabbing them with their own weapons. It was crazy.
Well come to find out, them weren't just some pimps. They had heavy connections to some billionaire crime lord in Moscow. So that chump sends some even bigger chump to Boston to deal with McCall. My man McCall went through all of them punching, kicking, slicing, dicing he even gave another dude a buck fifty across his face. Of course he takes out a few dirty cops and what not then there is the showdown at Home Mart where McCall uses just about every piece of equipment to kill them suckas. I'm talking from barbed wire to cordless drills. Pruning sheers with the long handles to mini propane tanks in the microwave. Then the finally he sent the chump to the after life with some kind of crazy nail gun. I mean the range on that thing was ridiculous! Then when he was done with killing all of them they show him doing his cold as ice probably patented "Denzel Walk" away. I'm convinced one of his legs must be shorter than the other one. After all that is done he heads to Moscow to kill the big boss and his litany of foot soldiers.Naturally he succeeds. Once you've taken out the biggest crime lord of Russia what else is there to do?
Well, my man McCall decides to go right back to his modest apartment in his urban neighborhood where none other than that ho turned housewife shows up talmbout she readin books and all. She says someone left her 10 thousand big ones at the hospital, she suspects that it was Sliva offering her hush money to start a new life. The two have this very unnecessary and awkward conversation where McCall basically tells her to go search her dream. I don't know about you people but 10 G'z wouldn't last too long in my life the way my bills are set up. Any who she does that. Then credits run for a second and it cuts back to McCall on the lap top doing something and supposedly if I would've stayed to watch that I would've seen that there is possibly a sequel coming. But that is highly unlikely because Denzel ain't NEVER did a sequel, and if he were to do one I'd love to see a prequel to Training Day.
Here's the trailer for your consideration:
Overall I give the movie about 7-7.5 out of 10. It was a good action movie, but nothing very lasting about it. I mean I'd take a broad to see this before taking her to the Hoochie Burger.
And I ain't proof reading JACK! I don't get paid to do this and no one reads it anyway!
"Your woman will stand by because of the things you've done, a side chick stands by you because of things you're doing. So if you don't have any side chicks it's probably because you ain't doing shhhhh" -Keef
